PERCEPTION on LIFE

After Ten day struggle with one 4000 word essay *thanks to the anti-plagarism software*, and two back-to-back Departmental Parties with two Different Departments, with snow covered garden ahead, and a long vacation with festivals in your calendar, the mind does play weird game. With a huge mug of steaming tea in hand, I sat beside the window reviewing the events of my existence since birth.

Until 2004, I lived in Guwahati – woke up, went to school/college, went for tution, came back home, called up friends, picked up the book, pretended to read, ate, slept and continued.
Then I left home for the first time, went to Gujarat – woke up, rushed to university, went to computer lab, came back, went to the mess, had dinner with Bitadru and Rajat, walked around catching up with people, came back to my room, slept off. Thereafter, I went to Hyderabad – woke up from sleep, went to office, came back home, ate, slept off. The repetitiveness of my life seemed, prima facie, quite boring to me. And then I looked at it from far away. And I realised, it is not as monotonous as I always thought it was.

Rewinding my life to 2004,did I even know that Gujarat would be such an integral part of my life and that it would be the place shaping the person I would be for the rest of my life? Did I know that I would be a lawyer?

I remember, I was in Delhi in July 2004 and I had taken admission in Satyavati College for B.Sc. in Economics when I got a call from my university asking me to report for interview asap. We cancelled our trip to Kashmir – the place we chose to take shelter to beat the summer in Guwahati, and ironically, landed in Gujarat – shelter from summer indeed. That one single decision of ours, changed my permanent residence to Gujarat for next five years. Our acquaintances and family friends made faces at our decision? GUJARAT? What was wrong with Hajra or J B Law College? My grandmother was furious. "You send your only daughter 60 hours away?" My parents continued with their explanation while I chose the easy way out – Ignored!

But did I ever want to do Law?
When I was ten years old, I had a friend in my neighbourhood whose father was an advocate. One day she had confided in me very proudly that her father bullied his landlord by not paying rent and the landlord was too scared to do anything because he was an advocate. For a ten year old child who was bullied around everywhere, I kinda thought it was cool and that year, in Christmas eve, I wrote a letter to Santa Claus which read:
“Dear Santa Claus, I want to become a lawyer when I grow up. Please fulfil my dreams for me. Love, Priyangee.”

I hid the letter under the pillow believing Santa would come and take the letter away. The letter was taken away – not by Santa but by my elder brother who ran around with it making it a family joke. We all forgot about it. I grew up and I changed my focus to Economics.

Why then did I do Law? I am still unaware of it. It seems Santa has his own way of fulfilling potentially dangerous wishes. Till date, I regret giving up Economics for Law. But I am glad I chose Gujarat over Delhi for every possible reason. And I could go on and on about it. But for a place of such importance in my life, I would prefer to dedicate another article to it.

While I was in Gujarat, I had always imagined myself, like all others, working in Delhi, Mumbai, Bangalore, Calcutta. The city Hyderabad came to my mind only when I had Biryani cravings - which is very common for non vegetarians struggling to find a proper eat-out joint in that place (sorry Krishna. but I am sure you would understand! :P). (I vehemently deny to accept the concept of veg biryani). Could I have possibly imagined living in that city for a year? NEVER! And this time, my parents made faces, whom I couldn’t possible ignore. Thanks to 1p/sec call rates !!!!!

And all of a sudden, now, I am in London! LONDON? Really? I still remember those mild-winter-November-evenings when Rajat had visited Hyderabad, both of us spend hours in the staircase of one of the least visited shopping mall ever; discussing about our philosophies of life. We both were clueless and lost in our own path and were unsure of what we actually wanted. We both wanted to help each other. We both told each other what we wished- and strangely, neither of us actually followed what we had in mind then. But it was November 2009 and I was yet to decide on what I wanted to do henceforth. And suddenly in June 2010, I was all set to come to London.

On my first day out venture in the city, I took a double decker bus, took a seat in the upper deck in order to have a better view of the city. And every second seemed like a dream. I stared outside but actually saw nothing. I kept on reassuring myself that it is LIFE and not a DREAM. It was the fag end of Autumn and the city looked beautiful – colourful. I stared at the road like an artist who had freshly painted a picture and was proudly admiring his creation. I was sleep walking through Bollywood. My London dreams since 1997 had finally come true. Did I know that I had London written in my life?

From Guwahati – Gujarat – Hyderabad – London, did I ever know what my next city of residence would be? Do I know what my next city of residence would be? With all the shifting and shuffling that I have done in past Six years, calling any place my city of residence sounds too heavy. I would rather call them My current Location.

I wake up every morning and follow the same schedule without even realising how much impact I am creating on my life in future. I have always looked at my life on a daily basis and when all of a sudden I get a aerial view of the graphwith long term analysis, it looks so dramatic.

From a developing city of a developing country to the developed city in the developed country, I thank the super natural power to have blessed with everything and everyone I have and for everything and everyone I have had in my life. Every single moment, every single day does make difference, if one has his/her senses open to welcome them in their life.

Live Live Queen Size ……

NEW GIRL IN THE CITY

When I entered the city, I was skeptical, nervous and extremely low in morale. I had had enough of trouble in 2009 and was mentally incapable of taking any more.
When I entered the city, I had an unhappy father and a tensed mother back home. Reason - They knew no one here. When I told my father that I intended to come to Hyderabad he was shocked!

“Hyderabad?”
“Yes!”
“H-Y-D-E-R-A-B-A-D-?”

He almost spelt it out to me! I guess he was wondering whether I read the name of the city wrong! After a lot of melodrama, he agreed. Rather the circumstance made him to agree to let me come to the city for YET ANOTHER internship. If only internships were counted as work experience, I guess 90% of my batch mates would already be one year experience holder at that time!

For his own satisfaction, dad got hold of one known person who happened to be a second cousin of his friend. Acquaintance indeed! Distant but nonetheless a solace to him!

My plan was simple! Work hard and get the damn job! But simple things in life are most difficult to achieve. One month got over and I couldn’t bag it! But in that one month I made some contacts, couple of lovely acquaintance and a friend.

My last day of internship, I refused to talk to anyone in the firm. I had a train to catch at 8 30 PM and I was at office till 6 45 PM and yet refused an offer to drop me till my home. After waiting for ten fifteen minutes (which seemed like eternity), I got transport, went home, picked up my stuff, dumped it in the auto and left. I was disappointed, shocked, dismayed. Yet another failure! I was leaving the city with a heavy heart.

July 31, 2009. It was the most amazing and lovely weather. It was drizzling, soft wind and I was not enjoying it. That’s when the auto entered Hussain-sagar Lake – the place in this city; I would love to go to when it rains. The statue was shining brighter, wind was milder! I felt a lot more relaxed and I knew then, this was not IT! My stay in Hyderabad was not over and I was coming back.

I left the city with a lot of assurance and promise that they would help me get a job. And I guess not all promises are meant to be broken. I had to wait for another month. But the intezaar ka fal was definitely meetha. I did get it! I told my dad and he was disappointed, yet again! But, with a little less melodrama, he agreed! And he didn’t spell the city to confirm!

This time I entered the city excited, brimming with energy, optimist and high in spirit. I did enter with a BANG. My joining got postponed by fifteen days because my would-be-boss met with an accident and had to undergo a surgery. I reached on a bright Sunday morning only to learn that the High Court was on fire and was shut for two days. Wednesday, the chief minister died in a plane crash and the state machinery was closed for another two days!

But then finally when I began my work life, I didn’t have to turn back and crib anymore! One year! Two jobs! Two most amazing employers one could possible imagine working under! Extremely co-operating colleagues! Hyderabad gave me these and a lot more!


Random long drives!
Late night Biryani!
Mid night Desserts!
Early morning Keema Paratha!
Aunty’s home cooked meal !
Ladies Night!
Flat mate hang outs – Fake birthday Celebrations and Real Birthday Celebrations!
Kababs !
Go-karting! – and I never held a steering or pseudo steering in my life!
Bungee Trampling! – and I am scared of heights
Late night movies – Phoonk being the worst!
Karachi Bakery!
Hi-tech City!
Mid night birthdays!
Awful awful, Bull’s Eye, Death by Chocolate and Hand made ice-cream!
Hussain Sagar Lake!
Melas and Ferris Wheel !!!
Pearl shopping and Chudi Bazaar!
Boat Rides!

Innumerable Contacts!
Contacts became Acquaintances!
Acquaintances became Friends!
Friends became Good Friends!
and, Good Friend became The Friend!

As I am leaving the city, I had the article of “New Girl in the City” ringing in my ears!

I wonder if my stay would have been this pleasant without my people!
I wonder if I could have enjoyed the city this much without their company!
I wonder if I would have been this care free without their support!
I wonder if I would have been this happy without their presence!

I went to 9 cities in 6 years! I stayed in all of them for period ranging from a month to five years! But in Hyderabad (of course, after Guwahati) it was much more than just staying!
I LIVED IT, and
I LOVED IT!

P.S.: Dedicated to all those who made my stay this pleasant and memorable! Especially, to MY FIRST FRIEND IN THE CITY
The previous time I left the city, I vowed on the Lake that I would come back. This time, when I leave, I have lot many people to vow on! My stay wouldn’t have been this pleasant without them.
And for YOU all, Hyderabad, I shall come back!

YOU

Thrilled!
Nervous!
Excited!
When I wait for YOU


Blank!
Confused!
Mystified!
When I see YOU!


Shy!
Chirpy!
Joyful!
When I am with YOU!


Gloomy!
Counting!
Hopeful!
When 'm away from YOU


All of the above
And a lot more
When I am in YOU


I read Love;
I knew Love;
I saw Love;
But I feel it, only
When I am beside YOU!

EDUCATION and IMAGINATION

As a kid, I was extremely dreamy and imaginative.

When I was three,I swallowed a seed and I thought now I would have a plant inside me and I would get free supply of watermelon throught the year.
When I was Five, I wished I could fly. ( I think everyone had this dream at some point of time.)
When I was Seven, I wondered why I had to get married to a boy. For two years, I was in co-ed school and I hated the way the bullied around. Moreover, I didn't really like the idea of me leaving my mom and dad while he got to stay with his!
When I was ten, I didn't understand why my maths teacher said if 2 men can complete the work in 4 days, 4 men could do the same in 2 days? My English teacher, on the other hand, told me a week before that apparently,  TOO MANY COOKS SPOIL THE BROTH
When I was Twelve, I wanted a baby and I didn't understand as to why I have to wait till I get married.
When I was fourteen, I wondered why my Social Studies book was so worried about Population of India? Moral Science book says that children are gifts of god. If it is true, how could the government possibly regulate the number of gifts God wanted to give me?

I had imaginations, dreams, visions -- some remained as memory in my mind while a lot of them got lost with time! During all of these phases, I was ridiculed by my people around me and I eventually stopped sharing with them.

I was a child then. Ignorant about many facts of life. Ignorant about many realities. But then dawned on me the benefits and good effects of education. All of my above questions were answered. A lot of them which I don't remember now, also got answered. I was exposed to REALISM of life. I knew why things were happening the way it was happening.

But this blessings came with a curse. It killed the Dreamy child in me. It killed the power to imagine the impossible and make unreal things become a fact of life. Now, I am made to think like an ADULT which basically means I ought to use the Rationality that my education and my society has taught me. I ought to behave in a manner acceptable by a reasonable man in a civilised society.

REASONABLE MAN ..... One of my beloved professor defined him as "Little man down the street". I loved this definition of hers .... vague, unique and innovative.... even though it made little or no sense to me. Reasonable-ness, is the most unreasonable aspect of one's life. And who would define civilised society?

If I speak what I think, I would be deemed as DUMB and IDIOT. If I speak as you want me to think, I would call myself FAKE and DEAD because people who can't dream for themselves are nothing but Brain controlled machines operated by the society. But who could be blamed for all these? This is what Educated Society does! The Best of all writers singers poets artists are the one's who never had or never gave importance to formal education. Some people wonder how they could write or create such art without any formal education? My reply to them are ..... they could create them only because they were not formally educated.

As a child, I looked at the sea and would imagine what would happen if I crossed the Horrizon Line? Which planet I would fall in? Which alien would I meet? What should I take for them from my planet? But when my science teacher told me that the line was not the end of the world, I was extremely disappointed. I could not meet my alien friends anymore.

I looked at the mountain and I would tell myself that one day I would climb it and get my mom one of those stars. But then I was told that the mountains actually don't get to touch the stars themselves and that they are some light years away from us! I felt i had failed my family.

Now, I am a working woman. Independent.  Self sufficient. Self reliant. Saving money to give gifts to my people. Material gifts. The Horizon is no longer an object of fancy (when I am sober). Stars are no longer sought after (because most of the times they are covered by the pollution of city life). I have no time to climb mountains. I need to climb up the ladder of my organisation. I could gift my promotion as gift to my dad. And they would be happy. People around them would be happy. And when I see them so proud of me, I feel satisfied, contended and relieved.

What if I couldn't give them what I wanted to when I was a Irrational Baby, now I am able to give them what the Rational Society loves. With this incentive and this reasonable thought, I shut away my book of poetry and get back to work because when you become an adult, dreaming is meant for people who are Useless, Jobless and have nothing better to do. For all others, they have bill-able work to complete, go home, eat and sleep and continue the circle till the brain gets tired controlling them and the society has had enough of them and need new machines to try on.
And that's when the new Generation step in to replace the old. And thus Education creates a new Generation of God made Machines!

2010

I was eagerly waiting for the dawn of 2010 for reason more than one. Ranging from the most genuine reason : 2009 had been one of the most dreaded year I have ever lived! and the weirdest of all reason being ... i like numbers which are multiples of 10 and 100. They usually give me a feeling of completeness and whole-ness and brings in a hope of beginning of something new! If you ask me to justify, I guarantee, that I shall vehemently fail. So, for my sake, take it as a matter of fact !!!!! The year not only began with a bang! but I have almost completed one month out of the 12 golden months and I am amazed at the speed in which time flies. Some noble man had indeed rightly said "Time and Tide waits for none. In this one month, I had a bon fire party, a marriage in family, a family get together, catching up with school friends and a trip around my current city of residence with my mom and dad who came to visit me -- a fun filled month indeed !!!!! I wish to wrap up this month with ISHQIYA and RANN and I am eagerly waiting forward to My Name is Khan - the much awaited on screen best chemistry pair - SRK and Kajol. And I shouldn't forget Karthik calling Karthik. Thereafter would start the IPL - I wish the Knightriders would have something better to display this time, especially after spending a fortune on Shane Bond, i am sure SRK and DADA wouldn't mind entertaining us with some real game instead of juvenile politics.